Lately…lately?  Is something considered lately when it’s off and on for, like, a long time?  I don’t know.

Lately, I guess, I’ve been jumping all over the place with my masturbatory inspiration.  Typical of me, really.  I’m all over the place all of the time which is why I’ve been unable to commit (and focus) on a single story to continue writing.  Which is also why I end up jerking off whenever I have time to write.

Oh well.

So, last night in particular I had a surge of one…fetish?  I don’t know if its a fetish but I think the term really narrows into the fact that if you sexualize it because of its “whatever” then its a fetish.  So, I’ve been fetishizing overweight women and last night in particular it really surged inside of me.

I’ve always been interested in thicker, bigger, curvier women however you want to describe them.  

Voluptuous.

Rubenesque.

Big Beautiful Woman (my least favorite).

I’ve always been attracted to bigger women, although not necessarily more so than skinnier, or more fit women, but I never disregarded them simply because they were bigger.  In fact, some of the women I’ve found most attractive have been those with rounded, heavy thighs and a substantial midsection.  

The key item of focus is that these women in the past that I’ve enjoyed who were bigger were typically still smoothed out.  I say smoothed out because they were not what I would call (apologies for frankness) lumpy.  There were no rolls or large overhanging bellies.  They didn’t possess a double or triple chin, nor did they require a scooter or have dimpled elbows.

But lately, and I haven’t quite been able to pinpoint it, outside of the idea that I haven’t had sex in almost 6 months and my mind is grasping at straws to satisfy my body, I’ve been fantasizing about have sex with very large women.  Obese women.  

I’ve been very much into erotic art lately and the literal best place to enjoy it online is deviant art.  About 4 or 5 times a week I’ll masturbate to art from various artists depending on whatever fetish I’m zoning in on that night.  This has been going on for months and sometime in those months I came across a fetish about weight gain.  Particularly the fetish is often sudden, rapid weight gain.  I think this is where my interest in specializing obese women started.

Now, this leads me into two thought processes;

1. I’m attracted to massively overweight women because I’m desperate and think these are the only women I have a shot with.

2. I’m attracted to massively overweight women because I enjoy the thought of an attractive woman rapidly gaining weight and then having sex with her.

3.  I don’t know, I’m not a psychiatrist.

This aligns with my everlasting interest in loss of control dynamics.  I’m not exactly sure how I fit into these scenarios, but the rapid transformation and lose of control in it is perfect with my submission and sissification/feminization periodic obsession.  

Do I see myself as these women being made to gain weight at an extreme rate when they were formerly thin and conventionally attractive?  Do I see myself as the beneficiary of their sudden conventional un attractiveness due to their new size?  I haven’t thought about it enough to really have an answer, although I’m tugged in both directions along with many others.

As with everything I don’t think there is a definitive answer.  Reading the comments on some of the images I find that a lot of the people that are into weight gain fetish enjoy the attention from the woman, most likely because she was (is?) beautiful and the feeder is keeping her happy, and therefore all of her joy and comfort is coming from the feeder.  This large, beautiful woman is now developing a hunger bond with the feeder and will, in turn, become addicted to them as they are food.

I’m still not a psychiatrist.

This is different than one of the weight gain adjacent fetishes which is where the very large woman either sits on and crushes them or, weirdly, eats them.  These seem, to me anyways, to focus more on the extreme closeness of touch and being as close as possible to the woman even to the point of being inside her, as they often are not consumed and killed but swallowed whole and still communicate through her belly.  I haven’t delved into that fetish enough to realized what is at the core of it but there seems to be a separation between them.

The transformation from thin, buxom beauty to large, overflowing behemoth is often magical due to some spell, talisman or clothing item.  There is the occasional one I’ve come across that is a general feeder-feed-ee dynamic though where its presented as a slower weight gain with the woman being given increasingly larger portions of food until she’s given whole tables of food at each meal and she eats until it hurts.  The latter feels like a much more intimate experience while the former is an instant gratification type of situation.

I don’t know where I fit in all of this.  Typically when I look at attractive women, whether its art or photographs or just flat out porn, I often will like a thinner woman and groan when shes wearing something incredible, although the women with a bit of curves and bountiful breasts often pull off the sexy lingerie thing better and they have a great addition of the extra boobage jostling around as they’re fucked.

But an obese woman doesn’t look as good in the lingerie and often don’t get anything sexy made for them aside from baby dolls, which I’ve never been a fan of.  What they do have on top of the thinner women is the girth is much more jiggly and soft.  The way they move when being fucked is hypnotizing.  The bouncing of their breasts and bellies makes me start stroking faster and faster as it goes on further.  

One of my favorite positions to observe is when a woman is on her hands and knees with her ass in the air, and an obese woman is so aesthetically pleasing when in this position.  The way her large, heavy breasts hang down and stretch to the floor makes my hands ache and my lips hunger.  Add in her large, soft, squishy belly pulling down like a soft dough towards the ground and when she’s starting to get fucked from behind it begins shakes and jump with each thrust.  

I can picture a woman in this position, her body stripped of clothing and she’s got her knees spread apart slightly.  She’s large.  An obese, beautifully gorged woman with massive breasts and thigh, curdled thighs and an ass that looks too big to be real.  Her ass is slapped hard from behind and she yelps in a girlish voice.  Her long hair whipping across her face as she trashes her head back towards the sting.  

Her pretty face, with thick red lips and dark eyelashes flushed now as she arches her hips backwards, the strain of her large body in this position making the anticipation mix with pain to keep her on edge.  When she feels the massive cock enter her she juts forward and her mouth falls open.  She’s being fucked now, swift and in repetition.  Her body is bouncing and her moans are filled with a tinge of pain.  It hurts but she doesn’t want it to stop.  

She’s getting louder, at least she was getting louder with her moans filling the room in chorus with the slaps of the hips behind her into her gigantic ass, until a thumb hooked her teeth on her lower jaw and pulled her mouth open.  Another cock, not quite as thick as the first but still enough to fill her hole, is shoved into her mouth as deep as possible and stuffs her from both ends with a gargling, muffled thud. 

Her body is bouncing in rhythm with the two men around her, on each end, forcing her body back and forth rocking in unison.  She’s being used as a cum rag for two thick cocks and they’re filling her fat cunt and mouth.  She wants more.  Her hunger growing the way her appetite has which is the reason she’s gained so much weight and also the reason she’s being fucked so gloriously.  

She doesn’t want to be thin again.  The only thing she wants is her cunt filled.  She wants to be fucked over and over again.  She starts to think, maybe she could be fucked while she eats and she can feel herself filled with food and cum at the same time.  

The thought makes her feel disgusted with herself and so incredibly aroused at the same time.  Her body erupts and she collapses forward onto the ground, her belly cushioning her like a gigantic pillow as she falls forward onto it and then rolls off onto her side.  Both men, neither finished, stand over her stroking their cocks until they are shooting loads of cum across her body.  

She’s left alone to revel in her marked body and dripping pussy.  Her mind accepts what she is now.  She doesn’t want to go back.  The only place she wants to go is deeper.  More.  Fatter.  Heavier.  

That’s where I finish.  Well, not finish, but where I would have finished.  It’s the loss of control.  It’s the extreme.  It’s the taboo and kink.  It’s all of it combined.  The large, heavy breasts in my hands and face.  Her gigantic belly and thighs and ass, all pressed into me hard as her weight is inescapable.  It’s all of it and more.  I’m sure I’ll cycle out of it soon into something else but in the mean time I’ll enjoy it.