I don't know what came over me. I couldn't help it. Despite my best efforts I succumbed to temptation and nearly the moment I sat down I started jerking off. Let's face it, I'm a gooner.

Actually, I don't know if I'm actually a gooner because, to my understanding, a gooner doesn't actually orgasm. They just stroke or rub or grind endlessly and drive themselves insane. I don't have that kind of willpower, or maybe I have more purpose? Either way I'm not stepping out ahead here.

I did have a small bit of progress in that a couple of days ago I decided what I would work on next and then this morning the actual first thing I did was re-read the start of what I planned on working on to see where I left off and what I need to do next. So, yeah, small victories. Maybe I should rename the blog that.

Nearly immediately after rereading my story I went to what's become my most common goon-fuel and it took less than 5 minutes to spurt in my boxers. I then wasted the next hour doing basically nothing before breaking from that nothing to do lunch.
As lunch was wrapping up I had an idea for a scene that could lead into a story which could be assimilated into the next project I want to start working on. I went to sit down and start writing it but thought I wanted to have something creative to put on my blog so maybe I'll just write a taste for the blog, but I can't write my blog post if I don't have an image because the home screen looks so incomplete without an image for the post. That led me to google image search.

You might be able to tell where this is going.

What I decided to write was a basic straight-2-sex scene of a magical-witch like person who cast some kind of spell on a man to make him feverishly stroke his cock with an overwhelming feeling of ecstasy that he can't escape. That was all I had in my mind, well that and an image in my head of a man on his knees bent over. His ass in the air, his cock in his hand with his pants barely down his thighs while his tongue hangs almost falling out of his mouth as its left agape and his eyes are in a stressed, on edge state. The witch-esque woman is sitting, unconcerned and uninterested in his display.

Funny, now that I typed that out I know exactly what made me think of it, which was the project I had re-read and want to start working on next. It's a planned anthology series with the first story focusing on a witch who casts a spell on an object that causes chaos to ensue.

I sat down to look up an image of a man stroking himself furiously but I didn't want just a real image of a guy holding his dick, for some reason that thought didn't strike me as encapsulating what I wanted. I think part of it has to do with my wanting to have the title images less porn focused as I think maybe it might be a bit more appealing to people to read the posts if the title image wasn't some huge dick or two people fucking or something.

I typed in a couple of different strings looking for that right image I was looking for and early on something grabbed me and wouldn't let go. A sissy hypnosis video for BNWO. Now typically I don't really care for the whole BNWO thing as I'm not particularly interested in that angle of BBC porn, but I am very into BBC porn so it does kind of grab me sometimes and I get sucked in.
Basically I just want to see white girls fucked by huge black cocks, and that is exactly what I got. Numerous spliced together videos and images of white girls being fucked by muscular black men in between feminized sissies with their dicks caged or very tiny while wearing women's clothes.
Add on the feminine voice of a young woman providing JOI and SPH and the first time she said "take out your little white dick and stroke it" I couldn't help but obey. Within a minute or two I had shoved my dick back into my boxers and cum again, the second time in a few hours.

I am weak. I am a slave to my dick and my orgasms. Now all I can do is try to salvage the time I have left and write something, so here I am recapping my day so far.

My thought process was to jump right into the story where the man has already come under the ire of the woman and she was either already threatening or deciding on his punishment. I'm not sure if I was going to have him begging and pleading for her to spare him or have him cocky thinking what harm could she do to him and then have him more surprised at this actions. I think the latter could be more fun but I'm always leaning towards the more pathetic, whimpering type of character when it comes to males.

She would cast her spell, or do whatever she needed to do and that is when I would jump into the description of what he's feeling. An uncontrollable urge, like an itch or a shiver that can't be held back takes over. He drops to his knees and rampantly rips his cock out of his pants and begins stroking it, even as its flaccid. His limp dick flops in his hand as he pumps it, like trying to jerk off a wet spaghetti noodle but even as he's not hard yet the feeling won't let him go.
At first she mocks him while he's confused and trying to figure out what's going on. His voice sputters through gasps and moans while she squats down and talks to him condescendingly. After toying with him for a bit as he asks what's happening she tells him and the reality rushes over him. No matter how bizarre he knows its real because he's not trying to masturbate but he can't stop, this is when he starts to beg and she sits down and ignores him.
His mouth drops open and he leans forward, throwing a hand out to catch himself. He's erect now, pumping his hardened dick as fast as he can while his face sits in the anguish state of just on the cusp of orgasm but unable to reach it. He bucks his hips, his entire body wanting release but unable to find it. She mocks him again, asking him if he wants to cum in a voice sounding like a mother addressing a frustrated toddler. He can only beg as his body continues its defiance.

I would add in moaning and every aspect of a man on the edge of cumming but imagine what it would be like if I were desperately trying to orgasm but couldn't. It would be as if I needed the relaxing shudder from a post orgasmic release to cool myself down but it's stuck and I keep getting warmer and warmer. I'm sweating and my clothes are sticking to my body. It hurts, but it also feels so good. I want it to stop but I don't want it to end. My mind is drowning and foggy. Gravity works against me and my elbows collapses, my knees spread and my ass is in the air as I pump my dick and my cheek is pressed to the ground with my tongue on the cusp of rolling out of my mouth and hanging lewdly in the air. The view beyond the immediate space in front of my face is blurred by both tears and lust. I feel like my mind is going to shatter unless I can cum but it just-won't-happen.

And I don't know where I would leave it. I'm thinking I would end it like that, on the cusp of complete mental breakdown and never allowing a release. It feels more fitting to stay with denial and not even allow a ruined orgasm, but an unrealized one. A broken mind left in limbo waiting for that orgasm that never comes could be addicting. I like the thought of that.

So, what do you think? Does that sound like something you'd like to read? Any suggestions or alternatives? Maybe some motivation would come from someone actually asking for something to be written since I can't seem to make myself do it.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading!